Allison's Restaurant

This song is called “Allison’s Restaurant”. It’s not about Allison and it’s not about a restaurant, it’s about Perl 6. But, it’s alot like a song called “Alice’s Restaurant”. That’s why I call the song “Allison’s Restaurant”. Maybe I’ll call it “Perl 6 Development” instead.

Chorus: You can get anything you want from Perl 6 development.
You can get anything you want from Perl 6 development.
Walk right in, we’re hard to miss. The fun never stops on the language list.
You can get anything you want from Perl 6 development.

Now, it all started three Perl conferences ago… three years ago, at The Perl Conference, when Chip and Larry and Gnat and Jarkko and Elaine and mess of other people were sittin’ around talking about all the fightin’ on Perl 5 Porters, and nobody could think how to get ’em all to just settle down.

Then this guy walks in, and starts throwing mugs at the wall, he’s just throwing mugs at the wall – ya’ know, the big, heavy white ones for coffee, and maybe some cream and sugar – he’s throwing mugs at the wall, and people start to think, “ya’ know, if this guy can throw mugs at the wall, maybe we can do something about the fighting, maybe we can get ’em all distracted and thinkin’ about somethin’ else… somethin’ big. And while we’re at it, maybe we can clean the language up, and make it less frustratin’, so they don’t have so much to fight about.” And that, folks, was the beginnin’ of Perl 6.

Chorus

Not so long ago and not so far away, the boss walks in late one night with a project, a big project, and he wants it done in three days. Bob says to the boss, “Boss, I think we should write it in Perl.” Boss hems and haws and ponders a bit, then out he comes with twenty-seven 8 by 10 color glossy UML diagrams with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explainin’ what each one was, and the boss says “Kid, we can’t use Perl ‘cause it don’t do exceptions, and everybody does exceptions.” Now Bob spends all his days and all his nights working in Java, and those coffee stains don’t just wash out, ‘ya know?

And the only reason I’m singin’ you the song now is ‘cause you may know somebody in a similar situation. Or you may be in a similar situation, and if you’re in a situation like that, there’s only one thing you can do: Walk into the boss wherever you are, just walk in, say, “Boss, … you can get anything you want from Perl 6 development”, and walk out.

You know, if one person, just one person, does it, they may think he’s really sick and lock him up.

And if two people do it, in harmony, they may think they’re both nuts and lock ’em both up.

And if three people do it! Can you imagine three people walkin’ in, singin’ a bar of “Perl 6 Development” and walkin’ out? They may think it’s an organization!

And can you imagine fifty people a day? I said FIFTY people a day … walkin’ in, singin’ a bar of “Perl 6 Development” and walkin’ out? And friends, they may think it’s a MOVEMENT, and that’s just what it is: THE ANTI-FIGHTIN’, CODE CLEANIN’, FEATURE ADDIN’, PARROT LOVIN’, PERL 6 DEVELOPMENT MOVEMENT! … and all you gotta do to join is to sing it the next time it comes around.

With feelin’.

Chorus